Kat Smith

Love the Vicious Cycle (poem)

2012-02-12T07:58:00.000-08:00

Love the Vicious Cycle

The Beginning at 0 Degrees

Our eyes spoke of love before a word was uttered
Racing time as we mumbled and stuttered
Reaching and searching for expression untainted
With a heart clear and firmly planted

Touches spark flames from the depth of our souls
As we intertwined our bodies and minds to behold
A love that was ours both cherished and inspired
As young love childish spirit frees our desires

180 Degree Turn

The rush of love’s fury lulled and awakened a wound
That its blinding light and heat could not consume
The injury bled into the flames yet slow to detain
Eyes sparked with my love release tears like rain

Each twist of mistrust dissolves more energy
I thirst for a remedy to quench this lost synergy
I hesitate to say as you carefully speak concern
The smiles and laughter turn to quiet discern

360 Degrees Complete

A young love in whirlwind completes a cycle test
Trust is earned lest we dwell in dungeon’s past
Wounding the delicate wonder that most seek
Smolders the flame and dims the light of love’s peak

I question actions that dampened this spirit
I look in your eye and I see pain replaced me in it
Loving you is not enough to curb your fears
I give you all of me and cry my tears

I cry for love that like a whirlwind swept us away
For a moment we were carefree and in love to stay
We forgot our fears and past disappointments
Rested our love in GOD and his testaments

And still it turns, the vicious circle
In love, hurt, denial, critical
One revolution together, apart
Proves love is not mind, but heart

It’s the beating that forms a rhythm
The acceptance in the face of criticism
It’s the breathing that spawns life for the other
It’s what death cannot end and living cannot conquer

0 Degrees

A loving glance embrace the kisses at bay
Smiles invite the laughter that pray for today
Caress the fears and remove the sting of pain
The cycle continues for love comes again

Excerpt from Love the Vicious Cycle (read more)

Also Available at Amazon.com

20 Tips for more Romance on Valentine's Day

2012-02-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

Want more romance in your Valentine's Day? Here are 20 tips to RomantiSize your V-Day.

Decorate you love nest by lighting two pink candles in a safe place in the bath or bedroom. Candlelight flicker is romantic and sets the mood.
Hang a heart chime above your bed and make music through movement.
Share a bath scented with chocolate and peppermint
Set the mood with music; soft love ballads or instrumentals.
Snuggle up to a cozy fire with a beverage and the card game INTIMATE4PLAY
Go lingerie shopping together.
Add an INTIMATIFICATES love coupon to his stocking, laptop bag, backpack or coat pocket with promises of a decadent evening.
Role play - Outfit yourselves and use your imagination.
Leave sweets for your honey for his/her arrival home.
Wrap yourself in a bow and present your gift.
Send each other holiday greeting cards.
Plan a treasure hunt that lead him/her straight to you.
Drop off the kids and go away to a romantic retreat.
Cook a romantic dinner together.
Bake cookies and decorate sweetie with the icing.
Buy cozy PJs, have breakfast in bed and snuggle til noon watching TV.
Watch the old animated cartoons to share some laughter.
Read a hot bedtime story to your sweetie.
Go to dinner at a restaurant with a view over the lake, ocean, skyline or mountains
Rent some romantic movies and reenact some of the love scenes.

Valentine's Day's Origin

2012-02-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

The origin of this lovers day goes back as early as 270 A.D and started with the clash between a kindly priest and a mighty ruler. To know more, just read on and discover the true meaning of this festival.

Every year, the fourteenth day of the month of February has millions across the world presenting their loved ones with candy, flowers, chocolates and other lovely gifts. In many countries, restaurants and eateries are seen to be filled with couples who are eager to celebrate their relationship and the joy of their togetherness through delicious cuisines. There hardly seems to be a young man or woman who is not keen to make the most of the day. Read more

Inspiration on Being Successful

2012-02-09T04:13:00.000-08:00

Here is a great video from movie producer and screenwriter, Tyler Perry.

He is a self made man and has a big heart. Watch and be inspired.

Mister (Poem)

2012-02-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

MISTER

Do I dare chance my heart with you
Mr. New

Do I dare look for romance?
Mr. Glance

Do I dare pull down the wall?
Mr. Tall

Do I dare to lose the lonesome?
Mr. Handsome

Do I dare to share the night?
Mr. Right

Expert from Love the Vicious Cycle (read more)
Also Available on Amazon.com

Love - Herstory

2012-02-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

In the beginning, Eve was Adam’s companion, his equal. So the bible says. In many hunter-gatherer societies, women were generally the gatherers of plant foods, while men hunted meat. When they were tired of hunting meat to eat, they cracked the women over the head with clubs and had their way with them.

In Greek history, women were reduced to a possession were fathers paid men to take them off his hands. Women were traded for money, cattle and other items far less valuable, in the form of a dowry.

Now property of the husband, she was not allowed to share in social events, walk the streets alone or to be educated. It was common for the husband to lock his wife in the home when he went out.

In Mosaic law, the vow of a woman might be disallowed by her father or husband but divorce was a privilege of the husband only.

A wife's sole duty was to bear male children and work in the home and yet she had to compete sexually for her husband with prostitutes and slaves in the home. Most female children were sold into sexual slavery at birth

Speaking of slavery, African-American women were enslaved and then given to every Tom, Dick and Harry on the plantation. So needless to say, monogamy does not appear to have ever been a natural human state. There has been proof, all along that men desire to be more promiscuous, but most of us still hold them back because we are choosy.

In more recent history, the gender roles of women have changed greatly. For poorer women, especially among the working classes, working in the home and raising kids remains, but for economic necessity, they seek employment.

Through economic change and the feminist movement, in part a struggle for equal rights irrespective of sex, our secondary characteristics are involved in nurturing of children or attracting a mate.

After decades of servitude, responsibility, propriety, and necessity, women were not used to expressing and following our dreams. Well it is time we learn.

In today’s society, we have lost sight of our birthright. We have to realize our value and use it to our advantage. Remove the past stifles and bounds of our sex and honor ourselves for the mothers of humanity that we are.

Women are Aphroditians. Aphrodite(a-fro-DYE-tee) is the Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexual rapture (Not to be mistaken for Roman mythology’s Venus, the goddess of love and beauty).

Like Aphrodite, we are goddesses who give life, joy, love, beauty, fertility, grace, restoration of life, immortality, prosperity, and charm. We are goddesses of sexual love.

Aphrodite’s birth was the result of the god Cronus castrating his father, Uranus. Upon tossing the genitals into the ocean, from the aphros ("sea foam") arose Aphrodite.

The Aphrodisiac, a festival in her honor, was celebrated in various centers of Greece. Her priestesses, representing the goddess and sexual intercourse, were held in high esteem. Fond of gaiety and glamour, Aphrodite gave love and both mortals and gods loved her. Her story is one of an undying generosity of love and beauty. Aphrodite fought for love and primary function was to preside over what was essential for the survival of the community, reproduction

Think about it. We too have stories of love as we preside over our essential survival of the heart. We are emotional creatures, listening to the heart, hearing the logic, then hoping for a spiritual connection that will cancel out the trouble of working out the bad character traits in ourselves and in those we love.

The Ability to Love Takes Root in Earliest Infancy

2012-02-06T08:54:00.000-08:00

I found this article on the Association of Psychological Science's website. Thanks Jessica and Alex for use of your sweet picture.

The ability to trust, love, and resolve conflict with loved ones starts in childhood—way earlier than you may think. That is one message of a new review of the literature in Current Directions in Psychological Science, a journal published by the Association for Psychological Science. “Your interpersonal experiences with your mother during the first 12 to 18 months of life predict your behavior in romantic relationships 20 years later,” says psychologist Jeffry A. Simpson, the author, with University of Minnesota colleagues W. Andrew Collins and Jessica E. Salvatore. “Before you can remember, before you have language to describe it, and in ways you aren’t aware of, implicit attitudes get encoded into the mind,” about how you’ll be treated or how worthy you are of love and affection.

While those attitudes can change with new relationships, introspection, and therapy, in times of stress old patterns often reassert themselves. The mistreated infant becomes the defensive arguer; the baby whose mom was attentive and supportive works through problems, secure in the goodwill of the other person.

This is an “organizational” view of human social development. Explains Simpson: “People find a coherent, adaptive way, as best as they can, to respond to their current environments based on what’s happened to them in the past.” What happens to you as a baby affects the adult you become: It’s not such a new idea for psychology—but solid evidence for it has been lacking.

Simpson, Collins, and Salvatore have been providing that evidence: investigating the links between mother-infant relationships and later love partnerships as part of the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation. Their subjects are 75 children of low-income mothers whom they’ve been assessing from birth into their early 30s, including their close friends and romantic partners. When the children were infants, they were put into strange or stressful situations with their mothers to test how securely the pairs were bonded. Since then, the children—who are now adults—have returned regularly for assessments of their emotional and social development. The authors have focused on their skills and resilience in working through conflicts with school peers, teenage best friends, and finally, love partners.

Through multiple analyses, the research has yielded evidence of that early encoding—confirming earlier psychological theories. But their findings depart from their predecessors’ ideas, too. “Psychologists started off thinking there was a lot of continuity in a person’s traits and behavior over time,” says Simpson. “We find a weak but important thread” between the infant in the mother’s arms and the 20-year-old in his lover’s. But “one thing has struck us over the years: It’s often harder to find evidence for stable continuity than for change on many measures.”

The good news: “If you can figure out what those old models are and verbalize them,” and if you get involved with a committed, trustworthy partner, says Simpson, “you may be able to revise your models and calibrate your behavior differently.” Old patterns can be overcome. A betrayed baby can become loyal. An unloved infant can learn to love.

###

For more information about this study, please contact: Jeffry A. Simpson at simps108@umn.edu.

How Lovable Are You? (Quiz)

2012-02-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

This is a quiz that helps you find out how lovable you are.

Quizzes by Quibblo.com | SnapApp Quiz Apps

Drag Down Crowd

2012-02-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

When we are not mindful of the energies around us, then we will allow our co-workers, friends, associates and even family to drag us down. They drain our spiritual energies and like crabs in a barrel, they keep us from allowing our spirit to soar.

Our emotions gives us signs to indicate those around us that are part of the drag down crowd. If you feel anxious or annoyed that they are around or if you tend to feel bad in any way, these are signs that the person that brings the bad feelings are not necessarily someone that is a positive energy in your life.

Keeping them around will only bring a feeling of emptiness in the sense that you will continue to allow them to drain your energy bucket. When it is empty then you will not have any to give to the ones who are the good energy providers. Don't allow the drag down crowd to suck the life out of you. Surround yourself with those who lift your up and give positive energy to you. And when you reciprocate, your energy bucket stays at a levee that is balanced and healthy.

If you like the postcard image above, check out all my inspirational designs.

Change for a Dollar

2012-02-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

This video is absolutely thought provoking and beautiful. It is called Change for a Dollar. Watch and share it. A great message.

Why Women Should Stay Single (Humor)

2012-02-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

This Amstel Beer commercial is hilarious, but is filled with some truth. If you see your guy in any of these scenarios, then reevaluate the relationship.

Sky Angel Cowboy

2012-02-01T05:05:00.000-08:00

Logan was very young when he made this call but her was a lot more mature than most. Listen to a story he shared with a radio station in Houston, Texas. He lives in rural Nebraska yet is able to listens to the station when he is not working on the ranch.
click here to listen to Logan's story.

Settling or Settling Down?

2012-01-31T08:41:00.000-08:00

With divorce rates climbing, many are deciding to marry at an older age and the ratio of men to women is increasing. The question comes to mind; WHO are marrying? Are those who are joining in matrimonial bliss settling down or just plain settling? Men and women haven’t necessarily improved their moral status’. As a matter of fact, we’ve gotten worse.

Ever wonder how a couple, who seems to be misfits, ever got together in the first place? He maybe a little scruffy and she well kept, or vice versa. We can entertain all sorts of conclusions, however, could it be that we have become a society that just wants or needs someone around, no matter what?

Dating or maintaining a relationship is difficult. I’ve dated across the spectrum; rich, poor, well traveled, country boy, fashion model, intellectual, blue collar and white collar. It doesn’t matter what walk of life someone may fall into, if you’re not compatible or considered number one in his/her book, then time to think, NEXT!

Many of us will and have settled for being number two (cha cha, poo, manure). But what it really comes down to is that we are allowing ourselves to be the one that will be eliminated, flushed. Nasty little thought, isn’t it? But think about it. If a man’s wife finds out he has another woman, he’ll probably explain away his tryst with something like ‘with her it was just about sex.” Or he will say that he doesn’t LOVE the other woman. And her response 95% of the time is to want to attack the woman for trying to steal her man. Never mind that he was the one to break the commitment of their marriage or relationship. Oft times, the other woman doesn’t even know the man is married. It is HIS dirty little secret.

You can reason as you may for being number two; he is good to you, the sex is great, he helps you financially, etcetera. But it only ends up with you feeling you’ve forfeited your pride, self worth and even feel you’ve lowered yourself to prostitution.

This may be hard to swallow, but we prostitute ourselves in many ways. We trade sexual favors for gifts, money, and trade our souls to keep a job, a relationship and social status. Some even go so far as to blame it on their kids needing their father. Is it healthy for kids to see two people together but not loving to each other? They will only repeat the patters, relationship phobias and issues you set for them.

If we spent as much time playing games and trying to figure out the other one’s game strategy, and use that time to invest in choosing a mate by the quality of their character, we’d make better decisions about the people we end up with. What you feel about yourself, you project to others, so begin with yourself. Ask yourself what qualities you have to offer and what you seek in a companion. If you feel you need to work on yourself, do so, then go out there and radiate the new qualities you have and do not settle for just any ole Tom, Dick, or hairy Joe that hangs around.

Don’t settle. Settle the score and snuggle into a warm loving relationship where you’re number one to each other.

Man Law? Really? (A rant)

2012-01-30T05:57:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder why men are so sensitive in the area of the scrotum? I have a theory that maybe it’s where most of them hide their emotions. I know most of you have probably seen the Bud Light commercials depicting a variety of men around a table discussing laws to be upheld in their gender society. I truly believe that men actually have an unspoken rule book that women are unaware exist. I am not particularly referring to rules of dating or sex, I am focusing on the rules of control.
For instance; say your guy is about to drive off for work and asks you if you want him to mail an envelope. You grab it and as he drives away, you think, how sweet. A few moments later you get a call from him asking if you have stamps at home. You remember that you used them all to mail Christmas cards and tell him so. He replies, “That explains why there’s no stamp on this envelope.”
Now before you get into a whole explanation to him over the miscommunication, remember he asked to mail it for you. What you saw as an act of kindness turns into him chastising you. Some men seem to feel they have the right to remind us when they do things for us. And they do, but it earns them no points in the love bucket.
What about when they make their stuff, your stuff. Say he needs to check something out on the web. Using reversed psychology, he mentions it to you in an attempt to involve you in the needing to know what it is he’s checking out on the web. Before you realize it, you’re looking it up and learning all about it and he’s off to the golf course or sitting on the sofa watching sports. What happened? It was his needing.
One of y experiences was when his friend’s wife is on her second day of a drive from Texas to California. He calls to tell you that he’s just spoken with his friend and asks you to give his wife a call to check on her. You like her, so you call and actually have a nice conversation with plans to see each other soon. But before you can make the call, he calls you again to see if you actually did what he asked. Is he your Dad reminding you to call Grandma to thank her for the gift she sent? Needless to say we had a long conversation about his follow-up call. I do not sit around all day picking lint balls out of my butt and watching the Soaps. I work too.
Now, we may feel it is our duty as wife, girlfriend, attend gatherings with the man in our lives. But when we analyze the reciprocity of this scenario, are things equal? Does he whine about why do we need to go to gatherings with your friends or family? Does he make up a host of reasons not to go? Does he start an argument?
I believe some men act this way because they are afraid that once they meet or interact with your friends and family, the true man will be revealed. Love maybe blind, but friends and family have a way of seeing through our love cloud.
Most women have the ability to take care of things even in their sleep. We are very capable of multi-tasking. Men on the other hand can easily do more than one thing at a time. Let’s see there’s sports and sex, beer and sex, their buddies and sex (not necessarily together but you never know with the “down low” thing), eating and sex; sleeping and sex, and work and sex. Whew! Masters at multi-tasking.
And yet another thing; men must realize that when we discuss things with them, we are not asking for them to fix the situation or necessarily for their approval. Most of us take very good care of them, ourselves, the kids, the house, our jobs and family and friends. How many men do the laundry, fold the laundry, put away the laundry, iron, mop the floors, clean the showers and toilets, vacuum, dust, grocery shop replace the toilet paper on the rack, change diapers, care for the kids, play taxi, help with home work, have dinner ready, etc. etc.?
Real women have real lives. For every man who feels the need to control their woman like a game boy, there is a woman that will not put up with all the unspoken man laws. Besides, if you try to enforce those laws, you will be working on your joy stick.

Reviewing the 7 Sins

2012-01-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

In a time of self assessment, I review the 7 sins and ask the following questions. Play along and see if you get any insight on areas where you can gain more self control.

WRATH
Who did you last get angry with?
What is your weapon of choice?
What is your pet peeve?
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?

SLOTH
What is the latest you've ever woken up?
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
What is the last lame excuse you made?
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...?)
When was the last time you got a good workout in?
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

GLUTTONY
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Do you have an issue with your weight?
Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Have you ever looked at a small pet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?

LUST
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

GREED
If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Have you ever stolen anything?

PRIDE
What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Would you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
What did you do today that you're proud of?

ENVY
What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

Article in Natural Awakenings Magazine

2012-01-28T04:38:00.000-08:00

When Grumpy Comes To Visit (Entire article on page 33)

Ever have one of those days that turn into weeks or months? Read entire article...

Time (poem)

2012-01-27T06:05:00.000-08:00

TIME

For the time we met

Throughout the time of you and I

There was little time to create a love for you

Still

Another time to pass

Is the time it takes

For me to

Get over you

Excerpt from Love the Vicious Cycle - Read more.

Also available at Amazon.com

Ego Altered

2012-01-26T05:55:00.000-08:00

There have been occasions when I wanted to get utterly toasted. This can be chalked up to a list of reason; hormones, sexual neglect, depression, PMS, loneliness, anger or just plain the desire to drink as much vodka as it takes to get me I the right state of mind.

My actions may have been influenced by the characteristics that drove me to drink, but can I really blame the vodka, wine or other drink for the woman who emerged. Did Katherine give birth to the Kat personality after her third martini or was Kat the ruling force that waited to take over when the inhibited or consciously mindful Katherine was subdued?

There are many facets of Katherine. She is exotic; Kat, Katarina, Katalina, Katrina. Although I didn’t always like my name, it wasn’t until my late friend James Baudoin enunciated my name so eloquently that I felt the regal and sophistication of the sound. The syllables rolled off his tongue with ease and elegance that made my grand stature firm and salute all that I stand for; strength, beauty and pride. I am an Amazonian Goddess.

Growing up a very shy child, I was one who hid underneath her mother’s dress to escape eyes that gazed upon me. That did not last long for I grew tall fast. After moving away from the bosom of my family I became the confident woman that was once shielded by the thoughts and actions of being raised Baptist in a Catholic influenced community.

Indulging in the decadent feeling of power when voicing my opinion, I grew even stronger and finally my personality fit my 6’2” frame. I am Athena and I dare not back down from any threat of challenge.

Early in life I married a bar tender and gradually developed a taste for fermented beverages and the sweet mixes that enticed my tongue to loosen and speak the truth. The Italians had it right; Nel vino la verità (In wine, the truth.) I am no wino, but I love the fragrant, delicate flavors as it relieves the social binds that constrict my inner energy and allow the real me and my thoughts to pour freely from this vessel.

But really, can I blame the sauce for bringing down the veil that hides my alter ego? Oh, no. Like Superman to Lois Lane; Drink calls to Kat to magically appear to rescue and defend Katherine. The sauce simply spices up her entrance.

Cheers to the bold and uninhibited woman. The world is yours. Sip and seek truth.

Finding Love and Light Within

2012-01-25T04:57:00.000-08:00

The façade is crumbling. The hollow resemblance of a happy woman with everything is slowly pealing away. Time began to erode the soul of an attractive, healthy, intelligent, compassionate and charismatic woman with a kind and generous heart. Her friends and acquaintances have nothing but nice things to say about her. She’s resourceful and funny, a great cook and organized and neat; the total package.

Then one day she realizes that her life is not in balance. She is a giving person and she does so easily, however, she feels that she does not receive as much as she gives. Often, when her friends, needed her, she’s right there offering whatever they need. But when the tables were turned, most times, they were busy with their husbands, kids and lives.

Understandably, she allows herself to be placed in the background, but as she runs out of energy it was not replenished. Now, she is disconnected from the light, the source. She feels alone, lonely and forgotten. The forgotten birthdays, the cancelled plans, the holidays alone and with no one that makes her a priority, her light begins to dim.

She can’t blame her friends or family. Life is life. They have their responsibilities and she has hers. Yet it hurts when she can respond when called upon and the reciprocity is shallow and minimal. Realizing their children, husbands, and lives, come first she tolerates the neglect. There is nothing left to give and she’s left feeling empty.

At an age where children are not an option and there are no marriage prospects, she feels unimportant. She knows there were those who loved her, but there is a need for a love that makes her feel she belongs.

Her body almost shuts down as she sinks deeper and deeper into sadness. She remembers just weeks ago, a friend’s baby was in the hospital and when she got the call arrived with support, and love. And when another friend was hospitalized for weeks she visited often bringing needed toiletries and helping when and wherever she could. As she lay in the hospital bed on Valentine’s Day, monitored and cold, she felt like a burden the friends who did come to her aide; her ex-husband who left work to rush her to the hospital and a girlfriend who sat at her bedside for hours. Still the fact that she almost bled to death did not warrant equal reciprocity.

Upon review of her life and the people in it, she decides it’s time for a change. No longer will she accept being number two; the left over in people’s lives. She is special and desires to shower someone with all the love and attention she’s capable of and to receive just as much or even more.

She sees the beauty of a renewed soul and reconnects to the source that gives her life and light. Recharged, she can open herself up to finding that someone to share life with; one that mirrors her beauty, inside and out.

Driving Sex (Humor)

2012-01-24T03:08:00.000-08:00

A little fun. Here are some driving personalities as I think they relate to sexual performances. They may not relate to everyone, but humor me and get a chuckle. Caution, do not read and drive. May cause uncontrollable laughter.

Jack Rabbit Starter - Takes off and leaves you in the dust.

Jump Starter - Nice enough to get you started, then you’re on your own.

Slow Poker - Never gets over heated.

Cruise Control Operator - Rides with control with full concentration on the other driver.

Lane Changer - Before anything gets finished He’s already thinking about his next partner
Or
Before she gets into her grove, he changes his stroke leaving you frustrated.

Speed Demon Or Fly & Stop - Premature Ejaculator

Performance Driving Enthusiast - Intense driving pleasure. He knows his instrument, he’s sure and careful, yet powerful and passionate.

Brake Pumper -Taps around at it but never gets up to speed.

Tail Gater - Thinks he can do it better – Control Freak

Road Rage Freak - If he doesn’t get his, it’s your fault.

Low Rider - Likes taking the low Road.

Outer Reaches of Desire

2012-01-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

Who understands how to give you pleasure and does so with expertise? Let us define pleasure. The definition is stated as such; the state or feeling of being pleased, enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight, sensual gratification.
Pleasure was understood to be a negative sensation by 19th Century German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, as it negates the usual existential condition, that of suffering. It is commonly conceptualized as somehow opposed to pain, though it has received much less scientific attention. Pleasure can be brought about in different ways, depending on how every individual senses the feeling of pleasure. However sensations are interpreted individually, so one’s pain is another’s pleasure.
Some experience this phenomenon through music, sexuality, accomplishment, recognition, service, and any other imaginable activity; even pain. It also refers to "enjoyment" related to certain physical, sensual, emotional or mental experience over pain.
Something pleasing can begin mentally then climaxed into the physical, but how can someone bring you to this euphoria? Somewhat like landing on another planet, men sometimes thrust into our pleasure galaxies with the hope of landing on a spot that will send us into orgasm orbit. However, as with the galactic explorer, we have to take on the role of Nasa’s “Houston”; the guiding force that successfully directs the conquest and lands us into pleasure.
Exploration of the outer reaches of the universe seems to have been as intriguing to men as the female body. Their study of us astonish and draw them in deeper. But the moon is an intelligence of its own. How can you entice her to share her resources and to allow strangers to explore every crevice of her body? You can begin by entering her universe slowly, calming her fears of being overpowered and forced upon. Touchdown softly, caressing her mental senses as she embraces the idea of you entering her personal space. Make contact in her sensitive regions to stimulate a cosmic eruption.
Gently explore her being as you share your findings in soft whispers. It may take a few trips to this sacred place before you discover what you perceive as life giving fluids but, as the nurturing guiding light of the night that she is, she will allow you to drink. Ah, yes. She is Aphrodite. The Goddess of love, lust, and beauty. Her light is the force that draws you in and keeps you wanting more.
Like the moon, a woman is giving. Her body is designed receive and in that receiving, she gives. She opens wide to the depths of her being. Welcoming you to receive all the wanting that you desire. In all your receiving, you only have to learn to give.

About Women (Insight and Humor)

2012-01-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

All good-looking women are not "gold diggers"

Nor are all women "easy."

Most women just want to be loved for who they are, just like most men. They sometimes feel inferior to all the hype about the model figure and face. So tell her she's beautiful and mean it.

If you are going to be honest with her, be gentle. Find an honest but sincere way to tell her that she may need to stay away from the cheese doodles. Or that you hate her new hair- whatever. Explain that you know how important her looks are to her and you want to support her because you love her.

Women do not want men to remind them of a) Their biological clocks, b) That it may be that time of the month, c) Their age or weight.

Women dress and fuss over their looks for: a) Themselves b) Men c) Other women.

Women love to hear men tell them that they are beautiful, no matter the condition she is in (ex: pregnant or sick). She wants to hear that you love her. Saying these things mean much more than gifts and flowers for the most part. Do not stop the gifts and flowers, just say it often enough that she feels you mean it.

Remember: Action speaks louder than words, but we can replay the words over and over in our minds and feel the warmth in our hearts.

Most women go to clubs to be seen, not necessarily to be picked up.

Most Women will never understand:

The button or remote control thing.

The sex/conqueror thing.

The breast thing.

Why he has to ask if she reached a climax.

The asking directions thing.

Most men.

10 Ways to improve Your Massage

2012-01-21T04:11:00.000-08:00

I did not write this piece, but found it helpful and cannot find who wrote it. So enjoy.

1. Breathe. Throughout the massage, breathe slowly and deeply using your diaphragm. The easiest way to do this is to imagine you have a beach ball in your stomach. When you inhale the beach ball inflates, expanding your tummy, and when you exhale, the ball deflates. The chest and shoulders should move very little. This will help you relax and creates better oxygen exchange.

2. Communicate. Be sure to communicate. Let her/him know how much pressure you like, when to use less and when to use more. Remember: its your massage so make sure you enjoy it.

3. Stay present. Yes, your desk isn’t that far away. But try to distance yourself from it in the few minutes you are in the chair. When outside thoughts stray into your mind, acknowledge that they are there and that you will address them after the massage. Then refocus on the sensations in your body.

4. Take a break. All it takes is five minutes after your massage. Take a walk outside for some fresh air or sit down in the break room and clear your mind before going right back to work. Enjoy the way you are feeling.

5. Breathe.

6. Drink water. When you get massaged, toxins are washed out of your muscles and into your blood stream. Drinking lots of water before and after your massage will help cleanse your body of those toxins. And NO, a soft drink does not count!

7. Be timely. Getting to your appointment on time (or even a little early) will avoid the feeling of being rushed and your body will relax faster once in the chair.

8. Let go. Give yourself permission to let go of stress and tight areas. Allow yourself to soften more and more into the chair with each exhale. Allow yourself to feel good.

9. Listen. Listen to your body by focusing on the area(s) being worked on and then scan your whole body for areas that may be holding tension. Once you find these areas, let them go (refer to #8).

10. Breathe.

Let's Not Forget to Love

2012-01-20T05:27:00.000-08:00

I have friends all over the country. I wonder at times that something happened to them, will there family know to contact me. When 911 happened, I tried to contact a few friends in New York City and failed to reach one who was so caught up in her own emotions that she did not think that I was concerned for her safety.

Once we connected, I was relieved to know she and her family were safe. I learned that we take for granted the time we have with each other. We should cherish the hours and days and remember to let the ones we know that we love them.

I leave you with this poem from my collection, Love the Vicious Cycle.

We sometimes forget to express love
For those close to us

We sometimes take for granted that
They will always be there

We sometimes neglect to see that
Their absence would leave empty hours

We sometimes miss the fact that without
Their smiles
Laughter
listening ears
And open arms

There would be a vacant spot in our hearts

Lover's Coupons

2012-01-19T04:07:00.000-08:00

Give your love a book of Intimitificates for Valentine's Day.

Intimatificates are fun love coupons for sharing. Each promise a decadent moment with your love interest: a romantic evening, dinner, event, or private encounter. Place one in a place so that when they least expect it, will enjoy your little secret surprise. Each book of Intimatificates hold 28 delicious opportunities to share your love. Yours for only $9.99

Fine Feathered Friend

2012-01-18T04:26:00.000-08:00

In keeping with nature, we are constantly reminded that although we are claim dominance in the chain of nature, our mother rules this planet. She sends the cool gentle breezes or the dry scorching blanket of heat. She teaches us many lessons of survival and instinct. Caring for all creatures in the circle of life. As recent weather conditions become the results of El Nino, should we wonder, maybe mother is trying, again, to teach us something.

The Ann Landers column offered a wonderfully simple analogy sent in by a reader from New York named Ithaca. The submission compared geese to mankind. I am not sure when the information was initially printed, but it had been collected from the Dick E. Bird News (no longer in print). A very simple practice learned from our “fine feathered friends”.

What We Learn From Geese:

Fact No. 1: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift draft for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds a greater flying range than if one bird flew alone.

Lesson No. 1: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they’re going quicker and more easily because they are traveling on the strength of one another.

Fact No. 2: Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front.

Lesson No. 2: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stay in formation and be willing to accept help when we need it and give help when it is needed.

Fact No. 3: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies in the point position.

Lesson No. 3: Geese instinctively share the task of leadership and do not resent the leader.

Fact No. 4: The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson No. 4: We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging and not something else.

Fact No. 5: When a goose gets sick, is wounded or is shot down, tow geese drop out of formation and follow it down to the ground to help protect it. They stay with their disabled companion until it is able to fly again or dies. They then launch out on their own or with another formation or they catch up with the flock.

Lesson No. 5: If we have as much sense as geese, we too, will stand by one another in difficult times and help the one who has dropped out regain his place.

As the lessons encourage, are we uniting in our community efforts, or are we the misery that loves company? Are we just a bunch of crabs in the barrel, not letting anyone get to the top, clawing and pulling at opportunities that can be gained through unity? The organizations and groups that are working for common goals should share in the leadership rolls and fall back into formation to give strength to all those who work to better the communities, create jobs and homes or whatever the mission stated. Which two of the flock will protect its companion in cause? Do you understand your cause or mission? Do we, the dominant creature, learn anything from these “senseless” animals? Let us birds of a feather, flock together.

Leaves - An Metaphor for Life

2012-01-17T02:41:00.000-08:00

There are so many kinds of leaves. They come in all sizes, shapes and colors. Some have grow on trees with characteristics of more like a shrub and others are grand. Some are decorated and others are use to adorn our landscaping. But whatever the tree's use, I liken its leaves to the many kinds of people in the world.

There are those who are long and others short. Some are thin and others are wide and they range in colors that cover the spectrum.

Some leaves remain on the tree all year round and others fall only to have others replace them in the spring. You might say they resemble friends who are with us for a season or a reason, or times when we must move on in life.

Then you have the leaves that fall and land on a stream that takes them along to unexplored places. Although it is at the mercy of the water, is seems to not fight the flow. It simply glides along and finds rest where ever it ends up.

Maybe we should learn not buck the challenges in our lives and ride the flow? Spirit has a bigger picture of our lives and purpose. In our limited vision, we can sometimes delay the blessings that are for our embracing because we cannot see the forest for the trees, or the leaves as part of the big picture.

Honoring the King!

2012-01-16T06:12:00.000-08:00

Remembering the vision and life of the great Dr. Martin Luther King.

His Dream

His Mission

His Life

D CEO Magazine

2012-01-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

The literary community in Dallas gets some free publicity. Glenda VosBurgh features Kat Smith and other area professionals in D CEO Magazine

Read article

Repurposing - Beginning the Journey

2012-01-14T05:47:00.000-08:00

I received this video and was moved by the realization expressed in this piece. Not only is Ms. Shultz strong and loving, her love for self is evident. Her will to repurpose years that have been devoted to others has come and she is taking on the challenge.

What and be inspired to Repurpose You!

The Long Goodbye - by Melissa T. Shultz

Romantic Retreats in Texas

2012-01-13T04:51:00.000-08:00

Romantic Retreats in Texas, Places to Relax, Rejuvenate and Reconnect – is a guidebook for couples who wish to explore the romantic side of the lone star state. Inside you will find a vast list of destinations either within driving distance or a short flight away. From Dallas to the Hill Country, the Rio Grande to the panhandle and South to the Galveston coast, Texas has a lot to offer the traveler looking for a romantic or exciting get-a-way with seclusion, atmosphere, amenities, tranquility, luxury or rustic living. With a host of B&B’s, spas, resorts, ranches, hotels, camp sites to name a few, Romantic Retreats in Texas is for lovers of relaxation, shopping, entertainment, dining, lakes, pampering, adventure, wineries, nature and more.

Somebody for Someone

2012-01-12T04:43:00.000-08:00

The closer we get to Valentine's Day the sadder some of us get. We examine our lives and wonder why we are alone or in the wrong relationship. It can seem as if we are lonely in love or lost in the loneliness, but there is somebody for everyone.

Your somebody is out there and you are the someone for someone else. The coors have a great song that inspires this thought. Enjoy the lyrics when you click on the picture below.

Business Model You

2012-01-11T04:48:00.000-08:00

I am included in a collaboration of authors in a new business development and marketing book entitled Business Model You.

If you are seeking advice and guidance for your business, I recommend this book to assist you in mapping out your plan of action towards success.

Count Your Blessings

2012-01-10T04:09:00.000-08:00

As the year gets to a rolling start, let us not only consider what the past year has dealt us. Let us count our blessings. Many went without jobs, homes and loved ones. We lost retirement accounts along with our pride, but we had much to be thankful for. What you ask? Well, I will start with my list and you can build your own.

I am grateful for:
my health
dinner each night
warmth and electricity
my pets
friends
family
transportation
laughter
talents and skills
books and movies
pastries and coffee
those who share a positive message
hugs and kisses
jeans

I could go on, but you get the idea. Each day is an opportunity to be grateful for everything. So today I count my blessings and wish for you the blessing of joy.

What I have to Offer (Poem)

2012-01-09T06:22:00.000-08:00

What I have to offer

is considered by me a great gift

A gift to be shared with all I come in contact with

A gift that brings joy, happiness, love and security

What I have to offer

I can share with family and friends

I can share all of

or just a part of this gift

I can share the knowledge, experiences,

and memories of this gift

What I have to offer

Excerpt from Love the Vicious Cycle - Read more.
Also available at Amazon.com

Brain Sex

2012-01-08T03:54:00.000-08:00

Men and women are different for more reasons than just our obvious anatomy. According to the authors of the book Brain Sex; The Real Difference Between Men and Women, authors Anne Moir and David Jessel explain that we are wired differently.

The female brain has intricately more wires than the male brain and thus we instinctively respond to the same situation quite differently. We can ask why can't a woman be more like a man or vis versa. We can also question feminine intuition or who may be better at one thing or another. But its our biological differences that make it impossible for us to have equal emotional or intellectual qualities.

So the next time you can't understand why he or she does not "get it", you are probably right. We think differently and process information, emotions and experiences differently. So I encourage you to have patience with the opposite sex. Think of it this way; Our computers run on different brands of processors.

Hidden Agendas

2012-01-07T04:17:00.000-08:00

I was raised in a large family. Each of us children had chores that was required of us in order to keep the home in a livable state. The girls were responsible for the cooking, laundry and cleaning. The boys had to maintaing the hardwood floors, the garbage and the landscaping and handiwork. You can imagine the chaos that could result if no one abided by the rules set by my mom.

I figured that this is how it was supposed to be in every home, right? Wrong! I learned that in my first relationship, which resulted in marriage but was quickly followed by divorce.

I expected him to be like my brothers. I had a hidden agency for the chores he was to be responsible for with our even discussing them with him. When I found myself upset that he did not perform these tasks at his own will, I realized that it was not fair to expect it of him. I was imposing my upbringing onto him.

What hidden agendas have you imposed on your loved one (s). These chores can have devastating affects on relationships. So trash the agenda and communicate your needs to them and allow them to chose which chores they are comfortable taking on. Once you have a mutual agreement there is no resentment.

OFFice Limits

2012-01-06T03:33:00.000-08:00

How do we maneuver around the office love affair? Is it safe to indulge? How do you avoid romance in the place you spend the majority of your day? These are all questions that you must ask yourself when you consider love in the workplace.

Often the fleeting affair can cause problems and result in one or both leaving the job. In this economy, it is not easy to replace an income, so choose wisely on the possible sacrifice of making a living or making love.

Many couples have found love at work and it has been lasting. They considered the odds and possibilities. The outcome was beautiful, so this is not a doom and gloom for office love, it is a call to consider the truth in what you may have found. Is it truly love or an explosive waiting to be ignited. If it blows will it be fireworks or devastation?

Holding Back

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

When we hold back from ourselves and others, we create stagnation of our growth and block any good from reaching us.
We hold back due to fear or because we are listening to our saboteur - that voice in our heads - that tells us that where we are is fine. That voice or fear tries to break you down and tear away your passions, desires and dreams. When we listen we surrender to it and lose out on love, life, abundance, success and much, much more.
What is your saboteur repeating to you to make you hold back? Be aware that if you are hearing this voice, then you are not telling yourself. It is another voice which speaks fear into your inner ear. You can turn off that voice by acknowledging this and taking steps to change your thoughts and beliefs to push you forward toward your happiness.

New Song (poem)

2012-01-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

Inspired by this new year, I share with you an except from my collection of poetry, Love the Vicious Cycle. In the spirit of love and Valentine's Day, I wish you a new song.

NEW SONG

I’m tuned into a new song

The lyrics are sweet and

Music is pleasant to hear

This song is in my heart

And you’re the conductor

Your voice caress my hearing

And each expression touches my every emotion

My days are now filled with

Fragrance and sunshine

With the arrival of this new song

Is in my heart

My mind

My soul

Along with you

Excerpt from Love the Vicious Cycle - Read more.
Also available at Amazon.com

Love in the eyes of God

2012-01-03T02:18:00.000-08:00

Some of us have a different definition of the word love. I thought I'd share a scripture that struck me as a way to add food for thought. I am no scriptoria, but I dabble in the word. So indulge me.

Colossians 3.12-14

God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who dies you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.

The Power of Love

2012-01-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

It is often says that love can overcome all obstacles. Love is blind and eternal. I believe that the strength of love is unbreakable and that it is the most powerful force in our Universe.

As the world revolves around this power, we have built our existence through what it has afforded us emotionally and physically. So let us readjust our Love Perspective and believe in the power of love.

Here is an inspiring song to give you a warm perspective. Enjoy! Luther Vandross - Power of Love

NYE - New Year Enchantment

2012-01-01T03:44:00.000-08:00

A new year and new possibilities! What do you wish for these 365 days ahead?

The enchanting desires of success, love, abundance or health? We are free to open our minds to

amazing things, people and places.

I usually celebrate my new year on my birthday. This is when I set new goals for my life. I assess what I have accomplished in the past year and how I can make changes to increase my odds of success

in this new year.

I encourage you to not only resolve to make changes, but dream and plan the manifestation of your hearts desires. See, feel, taste and smell the experiences you wish to come into your life. Relish in the love you seek, the abundance you crave and the joy you will feel when it is real, because it is. You only have to believe in the enchantment of your power.

Mirror Mirror

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

We are most times flattered by seeing ourselves in pictures and videos. We pose and smile or give that sultry pout. But when we look in the mirror and there is no camera, what do we see?

Who is the person that you reflect? How do you feel about your body? Your looks? What is the true reflection from a soul level?

We can hide and disguise the real person but we know whenever we look at ourselves through our own eyes, we will see all our faults, failures, disappointments, frailties, fears and other undesirable traits. We tend to see the negative because this is mostly what we focus upon.

Let’s look again. Let’s begin with the old fairy tale mantra; Mirror mirror on the wall... (fill in your question) Who is this beautiful woman I see? or healthy woman, successful woman, Loving mother, Caring soul, nurturing teacher. Whatever you that you are or aspire to be.

Wayne Dyer, says “If we change the things we look at, the things we look at change. So let us begin to make the change so that we see through the eyes of our dreams and desires. See your success, love and abundance.

Someday

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

American Way Magazine once asked for submission for a writing contest. The context was to writer a story about what you would like to do someday. I submitted the following for consideration.

I remember many times when my brother and I would sit on the porch and talk about our somedays. Now we are older, much older. Dreams and goals have changed and the glow of our somedays have dimmed in the dusk of living. He’s now married with four great kids.

My life has changed as well. I have a great home and two cats; who are much like having children when consider their personalities. However, with one of them in my lap I often think of my someday.

Someday, I will follow my bliss and travel to the places that inspire me with spiritual essence and beautiful nature. Places of peace and happiness are hard to find in our world of economic and natural disasters.

I will write that best selling novel and travel the world speaking to others about how to seize their someday. I will walk the streets of villages and experience life with those who are actually living their somedays and willing to share them with strangers like myself. I will toast to their happiness and abundance; be it in love or riches.

My someday will greet me with a smile and I will embrace each moment, for today is a someday to enjoy what life has to offer. Each is but a gift to be opened and treasured.

One day, I will tell you of those travels and the lives shared on somedays.

Today, my someday is now. For I have penned my novel and share inspiration with other like you. So make your someday today. Seize this day and wait no longer to live.

21 Suggestions for Success

2011-12-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

While waiting at the printer's office for a proof of my new book, I read this poster on the wall. I think this wisdom is worth sharing.

By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Be generous.
Have a grateful heart.
Persistence, persistence, persistence.
Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Commit yourself to quality.
Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
Be loyal.
Be honest.
Be a self-starter.
Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
Take good care of those you love.
Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

Well Wishes

2011-12-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

Responsibiity

2011-12-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

When I read Stoke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, I was not only moved by how her will and determination drove her to explain what her body experienced during and after a stroke.

Now, granted being a brain scientist did allow her a fascination on how our brain works and it was ironic that she happen to have a stroke and could use her experience to not only stroke victims, but to expose us to the spiritual journey she had taken during this time.

When she appeared on Oprah, she shared the fact that she placed a sign for others to read and contemplate. The sign read: PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENERGY YOU BRING HERE.

We have a responsibility to being aware that our energy can be felt by others and when we drag along negativity, hate, drama and even low self esteem, it can be sensed. Being aware of this has made me more sensitive to how i want to “show up” everyday. So I encourage you to think about how people sense your energy. Are you bringing positive or negative feelings?

New Releases by Kat Smith

2011-12-10T19:08:00.000-08:00

Available for Kindle and in soft cover at Amazon.com

How to Say "I Love You" in other Languages

2011-12-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

Let love spread around the world by saying "I Love You" it in a different language
Click here to find a language.

Treasuring Self

2011-12-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

I like to think of myself as very cat like. But like my furry friends, I don’t necessarily want to let my whiskers get out of control. So what does this have to do with love and relationships? Well, I think that as the saying goes Cleanliness is next to Godliness, I think self care is a way to express love for ourselves.

Allowing yourself to go to the dogs is not attractive. Each time you look into the mirror and rationalize for not getting “cute” to run errand or take the kids to school you disregard the need to care for yourself. It takes away from how you feel about you and those who love you.

What? Does having a kid remove your libido? Is being a mom mean you are not allowed to feel desirable? No! Remember a time when you first met your husband or lover? You took the time to look sexy and attractive to him. You wanted to be the object of his desire. So you think neglecting yourself and giving all you have to others is honorable or considered being a good “(insert label of choice, i.e. Mom, wife, etc.)”? No, it does not. It only makes you feel sad about the woman you are pushing aside. She’s there waiting for her time to shine, so allow her to come out and live. She’s the woman that you are and have always been. She deserves to BE. You deserve to love who you are. All of you.

Breaking up or Breaking Free

2011-11-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

I contemplated the story a friend shared about breaking up with her man. Maybe there was conflict or disagreements. Maybe there was a lack of trust or nothing in common. Whatever the reason for the separation, the term caused me to think was it really breaking up, or was she breaking free? Free to examine herself and look back at the relationship for clues to its downfall. Free to have a do over in the relationship arena. Free to go out and meet new and interesting people. Free to explore the world around us.

Breaking up or breaking free is all in our perception. People are in our lives for a reason and a season. The old saying is so true. So allow yourself to let go and embrace the freedom to love as passionately in a new relationship as you once did in the past. Love only dies when we kill it in ourselves. We are conceived from love and the foundation of our world is based on love in one form or another. So allow your love to expand and change as you, your choice in lovers, and as life revolves around us.

Is Drama Your Drug of Choice?

2011-11-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

I have deducted that there are some people who are addicted to drama. Their lives revolve around one issue or another. A fight here, and an argument there. They can’t get along at work or at home. Some can’t even get along at church. Constantly in an uproar about something or someone.

Just as we can be addicted to drugs, sex, and shopping, we have a tendency to get drawn in by drama. Be it ours or someone else’s. Gossiping, reality show garbage and even our choice in music can add to the need for drama. When life is not going well and someone is suffering from an issue, there are some who can find comfort in their sadness or misery. That feeling stems from all the negativity that we hold inside. If we let go of our own bucket of despair, then we can begin to fill it with better feeling emotions, like love, laughter, joy and peace.

So what is your choice of drug? Drama or Delight?

What’s Running in the Background of Your Emotional Computer?

2011-11-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

I remember a time when a friend was rude to me after asking me to sing. I love to sing and yet I was a bit shy to sing for him. In mid song, he says “You can’t project worth shit!” After that I refused to sing in front of others for years. That recording kept playing over and over in my head. Like a computer with programs running in the background that can slow down its processing speed, we have stuff from our past that run and slow us down from achieving our goals in life.

Now that I understand that old, painful comments, put downs and insults from others can rob us of our happiness if we let them. Each time you attempt to do something you love or enjoy, you will hear the voice of our saboteur reciting that old comment. You have the power to silence that voice, by realizing that its usually their stuff that they are dealing with. Allowing them to still push buttons with you is defeating. Take back your power and silence it forever.

My love for music and song is still strong and I belt out lyrics whenever I desire. I project my love for singing over the voice of my friend and ride the songs notes to a happier place.

Calming the Conflict

2011-11-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

What will it take for me to keep my big mouth shut? One of my favorite lines in Annie Lennox’s song Why. (Click the link and listen to the lyrics) What will I gain being right or making you wrong? Is my goal to maintain my addiction to drama or am I simply not aware that having the last word is not a good recipe for peace and happiness. Do you find yourself constantly apologizing for outbursts and conflict over silly things? Then look inside and try to figure what presses you to argue and cause drama.

Why? What is it that drives you to not have the self control to just allow something to be said or done without your assessment of it as a personal attack or some other defensive judgment against you. It only takes one person to curb an argument. Wayne Dyer expresses one option to calming conflict, is to reply with “that’s interesting.” Listening and hearing what is being said or felt will help understand the point of view someone is trying to express. It doesn’t mean that you are agreeing the other person is right or wrong. It allows them to have their opinion and keeps yours intact without the conflict.

Spiraling In and Out of Love

2011-10-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

Love is grand, decadent and wonderful, but it isn’t perfect. People are as different as their ideas about love and what it is supposed to be or feel. Much like life, love grows and evolves as the days go by. We change and shift and so does our emotions and how we feel and relate to others. This does not mean that love cannot last, but it changes as we live, grow and learn. Adding the pressure of love remaining the same puts a strain on relationships and causes them to fracture and break apart. As we accept that change is inevitable, then we can embrace the idea that love is unlimited, undying and ultimately evolving.

Here is a poem from my collection, Love the Vicious Cycle

TIME

For the time we met

Throughout the time of you and I

There was little time to create a love for you

Still

Another time to pass

Is the time it takes

For me to

Get over you

The Middle Aged Spread

2011-10-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

Age is just a number. However, we seem to easily attach labels to the youth. Especially now, we accuse young men and women as being sexually free and dangerously careless with their bodies. Lack of self worth and respect are usually the culprit behind such behaviors.

But since age is just a number, I have noticed the same behavior in women my age. Promiscuity at any age is not safe for the mind, body or spirit. Allowing ourselves to give in to sexual pleasure with casual acquaintances is dangerous in many ways. Women, we are precious, yet many of us have devalued ourselves worst than the dollar. Who wants to invest in something that is not worth anything to its owner? Do you feel worthy of someone’s time and love? Then why allow yourself to be treated like a toilet? Spreading your legs for just any guy is damaging to your entire psyche.

Treating yourself as a gift means that you only share gifts with those you love and care for. Not everyone deserves a gift. You put thought, time and money into buying gifts so why not put the same dedication and pride in yourself? Give yourself the gift of YOU. Love yourself first and show others that you deserve true lasting love, not just a quickie.

Giving and Receiving

2011-10-20T01:49:00.000-07:00

Recently I wrote an article for Mahogany Brides Magazine titled, Giving and Receiving.

I want to love and be loved! Many lonely souls probably scream this in silence. But in all the wanting, we are able to move away from the fear that keeps love just out of or reach. Learning to embrace each relationship as lovingly and passionately as the last, brings us closer to the true love that exists for us. Taking advice from Dr. Wayne Dyer, I chose not to concern myself with the expelled water at the back of my life's boat. I look to where it propels me into the future.

read more...

Unhook From Your Drama

2011-10-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just want to be angry. We are emotional beings and will experience the full range of happiness to despondence. This is understood, but then there are those who get stuck on the negative side of the emotion-ometer. When does one finally figure out that drama is causing damage to lives?

Drama is a component of ego. In order for the ego to continue to inhabit your life it has to make sure it keeps up the daily crap that stir up the arguments, challenges, defensiveness, negativity and sick feelings of just not being happy.

When we notice that we are fueling the mess each day, we can step aside and allow it to pass us by. We must learn to unhook from our drama.One guy described it as likening drama to a U-haul trailer. You rent the trailer and when you are done with it, you unhook it and give it back to the owner. We can treat drama the same way. When you hear that voice in your head repeating crap to get you to react, then acknowledge that you are the listening party, not the one stirring it up. Stop listening and turn the voice off. Do not be a slave to that negativity from your past that is trying to keep a hold on you. If you allow that voice the power, it will sabotage any attempt at happiness.

How to Say You're Sorry

2011-10-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to face the guilt and discomfort of being the one to have to apologize to someone. How do you look into their eyes and express your regret? With sincerity and honesty. Facing these feelings will be the best thing for all involved. Emotional health begins with a conscience free of guilt and regret. So apologize and ask for forgiveness for your mistake or wrong doing. While you’re at it, forgive yourself. Holding on to the negative feelings you have associated with the event will only cause you more unhappiness. So let it go, learn and let yourself heal from the experience. Mend your relationship with the person you hurt, if at all possible and move on in a positive direction.

For the Love of...

2011-10-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

A father, getting agitated at his toddler yelled, “for the love of.” He stopped and grabbed the kid before he hurt himself and sat him forcefully in the seat next to him. The child began to cry, I am sure confused that he was unable to express his curiosity in the world around him. Now he was confined to a seat at the will of his father.

I was a bit taken to the fact that he never finished his statement. For the love of, what? God, Jesus, Christ? If in fact it was the love of either of these deities, then his actions were clearly not representative of his actions.

“For the love of’ in the fit of anger, or intolerance should make us pause and apply that love to our statements and actions.

Love Versus Sex

2011-09-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

Love is the foundation of our Universe. It is what we base our marriages, families, religons and patriotism. The feeling of love has been the focus of songs, books, movies. It has built cities and this country. We express our fondness for many people and things with the strength of the this emotion.

Sex, on the other hand, is a small component of love. The feelings we share when we love someone is expressed physically through sexual act, but that does not make it the full encompassing love.

Relationships seem to suffer from today’s beliefs and confusion between love and sex. Our openness to share ourselves freely has confounded us with the grandness of what love truly is. The short lived act of sex is fleeting. We roll over and fall asleep, but love endures. It lasts decades not minutes.

In love you build trust and companionship. In sex you create life. A blessing in the love that is being expressed. And still again, the love evolves as it branches off and splinters into parental love, romantic love, friendship, community, etc. It is greater than sex will ever be.

Placing more power in sex than in love builds a faulty foundation that will only last a few minutes a few nights a week. You deserve more than minutes. You deserve a lifetime of love.

That Wonderful Thing Called Sex

2011-09-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

A friend shared this page from an old sex manual. I think is identifies how open minded humans can be about this physical expression. We mostly share this powerful yet indulgent exchange with those we love and are attracted to and yet it can be so scary. However, sex has cause death and created life. Even in these times, we can still learn more about ourselves and how we share this loving expression of attraction.

The Other White Meet

2011-09-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

I love chocolate. In the literal meaning and in reference to a sexy black man. Now, my sweet tooth has delighted in various flavors of “chocolate from the mocha middle eastern man to the American white chocolate. But I suffice it to report that it seems where ever I have tasted these sweet indulgences in relationships, I find that all men have the same equipment; give or take a tragic loss of appendage or so.
The only difference is in size and color. Which in turn is the same deduction when it comes to women. And yes, sort of like a Twinkie, we all have the sweet pink inside, but give or take a cup size or depth, we all have the same equipment.

So now that we have addressed the sensual side, let’s really look at truly relating to each other. In any relationship, attraction is a major factor. For many, finances will run a very tough race for the top, but when people are sincerely seeking someone of substance, they look at their personality, caring and loving abilities. You want someone you not only get along with but have fun with and grow together.
If this is true, then any race, creed or color can be stripped out of the equation. Understanding that we have beliefs and cultural differences that may keep the mixture separate, but it has been proven that many cultures mix and live happily every after (give or take an challenge or two).
I say we look past the racial divide and allow love to come into our lives in whatever flavor it presents itself. Walk up to the candy counter and indulge in the exotic or the plain. Its a sweet choice.

Loving Our Families In Spite of Differences

2011-09-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

There are times when we are so wrapped up in our lives and what we are dealing with in the moment that we devalue our family, friends and others in our lives. When it is all about us, we cannot see that they have love for us and are concerned about our trials. We must remember that our loved ones are many times going through their challenges as life serves up heaping helpings to us all. We are not alone in our daily life tribulations.

I contemplate my childhood and there was a time when I blamed my mother and family for the my neglect at home. But I still remember the happy moments and those pivotal to my growth. I can appreciate the fact that although we all went through trying times together, love flowed from each of us. I was not alone. We traveled our journey together.

Our families and friends are not given a handbook on how to relate to us and our lives, neither are we. We, by trial and error, build our relationships through the experiences we share. We can only do our best and as we climb our own hills and walk through our own valleys. We gain strength to go forward and help those in our lives do the same.

We are all on various emotional, mentally or spiritually levels. Understanding that each person will experience life in a different way, in a different time and space, we can cope with the sometimes distant feelings and neglect and try to offer them what they need to get by. For they will do the same for you. Maybe not the person you are giving, to but another in your life will be there when you need them most.

The GREEN Thing

2011-07-29T15:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know who wrote this, but I just had to share it...

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

Seed

2011-07-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am partial to the title of this piece due to the tile of one of my books, but these are great words to live by. I am not sure who the author is, but worth sharing.

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you." The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim.. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

The Naked Author Review on Midwest Book Reviews

2011-07-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

Katherine Boyer has reviewed The Naked Author for Midwest Book Reviews.

Here's what she has to say:

The Naked Author is a good 'how-to' book on self publishing with a little about general publishing for comparison sake. Katherine Smith has crafted a well thought out book that covers self publishing from agents to marketing. It contains just about everything an author needs as a guide through the maze of all of the intricacies of getting a book ready to be read by the hoards of avaricious readers clambering to be entertained or educated.

The reader is given several choices about what to do in a given situation; for example, whether or not to hire an agent. If you want to hire an agent to help you sell your book to a mainstream publisher, she suggests that it is a good idea, but if you don't want to go with a mainstream publisher, you don't necessarily need an agent.

"Not only did I learn that building the foundation of a successful author and/or book starts with creating a marketing campaign or career plan, but it is more than safe to say that educating oneself on the mechanisms of the process is vital for a smooth journey to publishing success."

Read More... (click and scroll down to read complete review)

Good Advice

2011-06-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

I received an email that shared some great advice. It gave me pause and I decided to share it.

'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day un-rushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and un-clutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13.. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20.. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life..
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31.. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

 32. Sit on your ego. 33. Talk less; listen more. 34. Slow down. 35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

Review of The Naked Author by Katherine Boyer

2011-06-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Title: The Naked Author
Author: Katherine “Kat” Smith
Publisher: TomKat Productions, LLC
Publisher's address: P O Box 701478

Dallas, TX 75370-1478

13-digit ISBN number: 978-09715024-4-4
List Price: $14.95

The Naked Author is a good ‘how-to’ book on self publishing with a little about general publishing for comparison sake. Katherine Smith has crafted a well thought out book that covers self publishing from agents to marketing. It contains just about everything an author needs as a guide through the maze of all of the intricacies of getting a book ready to be read by the hoards of avaricious readers clambering to be entertained or educated.

The reader is given several choices about what to do in a given situation; for example, whether or not to hire an agent. If you want to hire an agent to help you sell your book to a mainstream publisher, she suggests that it is a good idea, but if you don’t want to go with a mainstream publisher, you don’t necessarily need an agent.

“Not only did I learn that building the foundation of a successful author and/or book starts with creating a marketing campaign or career plan, but it is more than safe to say that educating oneself on the mechanisms of the process is vital for a smooth journey to publishing success.”

All authors, self published or not should read this book and keep it for future reference. They will pick up some tips for marketing and selling their books that probably have not occurred to them. They will also be reminded of something they had not thought about in a while.

There is an extensive bibliography covering books, websites, and nationwide events. The only reservation I have about this information is that with today’s technology, things change very quickly and having it in a book makes it difficult to update. A cautionary statement about this would be of help to the authors and others using this book.

Katherine Smith is a former talk show host turned author who has published domestically and internationally in magazines and newspapers. She is the author of several books, including The Naked Author-Exposing the Myths of Publishing, and I’m Tall You’re Not So That Makes Us Even. She is from New Orleans, Louisiana and now lives in Dallas, Texas where she is a publisher with TomKat Productions, LLC.

Name: Katherine Boyer

E-mail address: kbooks1@verizon.net

Journey with me

2011-05-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

Marketing Your Book and You Workshop

2011-04-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Kat Smith and Tony Eldridge team up with the Writers' Guild of Texas for a 4 hour workshop:

Height Goddess Fashions for Tall Women

2011-04-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

No more looking for fashions to show off those long legs. Height Goddess has the looks you want now.

Read more...

The Palatable Plate

2011-04-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

Allow your tastebuds to sing with delight.

Check out Pari Danian's new cookbook, The Palatable Plate.
read more...

New Edition of the NAked Author

2011-03-18T05:12:00.000-07:00

Available on Smashwords

Understand the publishing industry and all how all of its components work together before you decide to publish. (TomKat Productions 2011)

Guest Blog Post on Marketing Tips For Authors

2011-03-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

Tony Eldridge, creator of Marketing Tips for Authors, does a wonderful job of sharing great information on online marketing and promotions for authors and he asked me to guest blog on his site. Here is the link to check it out.

Marketing Tips for Authors

INTIMATE4PLAY the game

2011-02-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is upon us. Here's a cosy way to get close.

Here is what other couples think of INTIMATE4PLAY

I played your game with Laura on Saturday night after your reception and I LOVED IT! Honestly, I learned a lot about her that I never would have found out in regular conversation and I discovered that we really have a lot in common. We seem to have moved to the same place in our lives and I never
would have realized that if we hadn't played your game. Thanks! I may have a Valentine, after all. Michael – Dallas

I just wanted to thank you for the game you sent me last week. It's a great idea, and I hope you're able to market and sell it well. I do think the box design is very tasteful and might override the risk of offending customers/retailers with the 4play name as we talked about. Katie - Colorado

I purchased your game and when my pregnant girlfriend complained about her boyfriend and how he didn’t seem to understand her anymore, I loaned it to her for an evening. She returned it the next day raving about how she really liked playing it. She said the game made her see how much he really does pay attention to her and that really says a lot about how much he loves her. Even though she felt fat, he made her feel beautiful. Nicole – Dallas

Just wanted to say that I bought your game for me and my husband and loved it so much that we purchased enough for gifts for my daughter’s entire wedding party. Thanks so much for creating such a fun and exciting game. Linda - Plano

A Valentine's Letter

2011-02-07T17:25:00.000-08:00

As I contemplate the arrival of Valentine's Day, I thought showing your love for someone should not be reserved for only this holiday. It should be shown everyday and in simple ways. I hope you enjoy and ponder these words for those you love and show them often.

Time to say I love you
With flowers, candy and gifts
A day set aside as a reminder to
Shower those you love and miss

Send a card that promise forever
A bouquet with scents to adores
Are fond tokens to lovers
Whose heart is his or hers

But each day love’s made clear
Shown in the smallest ways
The things you do are simple dear
Nevertheless it says

I love to care and comfort you
The meals we cook and share
The warm snuggles too
And how we are a pair

I appreciate your caring
In the everyday things you do
Reminds me to bring
Valentine’s Day to you

You wash the car and carry bags
Saving me the tussle
Rescuing the damsel from the rags
When cleaning is struggle

The opened doors and your saving graces
Don’t end by a monthly quota
You lovingly do these things with paces
Complaints, not one iota

So it’s time to let you know
Each day I love you more
For the many ways you let it show
Without keeping score
by Kat Smith 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

Feathers and Fur

2011-02-04T03:55:00.000-08:00

Love is everywhere. Here is one example of how love crosses all barriers.

Cassie is a cat and a crow has taken her under its wing. Enjoy.

KAT SMITH'S - MEDIA/PUBLIC RELATIONS SERVICES

2011-01-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

As a public/media relations professional, I work with my clients to help promote a positive and visible image of the company’s services or products. The following services can be achieved through working internally within a company or along with a public relations firm that represent the organizations.

• Develop and implement media plans for all levels of coverage and seeks out reporters across all media channels to pitch story ideas that build and strengthen the company’s reputation and support the organizations strategic objectives.

• Coordinate and monitor message delivery through multiple communication pieces

• Market the organization to the general public through a range of public engagements. These may include public speeches, films about the company, exhibits at public events, and appearances at the events of other companies, among others.

• Proactively research and write communication pieces, interface with local publications to ensure a positive image and maintain list of company spokespersons and media calendar

• Provides support during crisis situations, including media screening, planning, materials development and serving as spokesperson

• Conducts media training sessions for administration and staff, to prepare media spokespeople for interviews and coach and direct others involved in media assignments

• Participates in meetings that provide opportunities for gathering intelligence that is relevant to the success of the media relations function and assists with media advocacy for legislative issues

• Track and evaluate media relations projects and develop regular reports

Contact me for rates and availability.

Smith quoted in article in Jan 2011 issue of The Independent from IBPA

2011-01-21T11:21:00.000-08:00

The Independent Book Publishers Association has published Part 1 of an article on Selling Direct. I shared some successes and it appears in their Jan 2011 issue, page 15. See clip below.

Television Interview - Good Day/Ch 8 Dallas - The Naked Author

2011-01-15T05:40:00.000-08:00

Author interview forThe Naked Author - Exposing the Myths of Publishing: Click image to watch.

An Outspoken Woman Shares some serious Food For Thought!!!!

2010-11-22T09:10:00.000-08:00

I received the following e-mail from a friend who, like me agrees strongly with the premise and reasoning used in this piece. I must also admit, that it crosses color lines.

An Empowered Woman, Empowering Women

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth, I guess I kind of imagined a Womens Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so n so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each others biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each others faults and nit pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking "they are cute" but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting to darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like, what has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along. Why is that we fight amongst ourselves, backstab & steal each others men(only to find out we should have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich handsome husband etc, this does not mean that should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a woman who's child father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because Im the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend. The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony, But I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save someone's life. PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayer.

I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and that if need be you are available to listen. Nothing bad is going to happen if you don't forward this e-mail but I'd like to think that something positive will happen if you choose to pass it along. May favor be extended to each and everyone of your lives, keep your head up and know that someone somewhere cares!!!

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything - George Bernard Shaw

Travel Challenges

2010-09-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

We have come a long way, baby!!! Funny that in this day and age we are being reminded of the challenges many faced in the past. I can travel when and where I want, although I may not be accepted to some golf courses, I can enjoy my travel time without incident; be it due to my race or nationality.

Anyway, I received this link the other day and wow what an eye opener.

“The Negro traveler's inconveniences,” writes Wendell P. Alston in The Negro Motorist Green Book for 1949, “are many and they are increasing because today so many more are traveling, individually and in groups. . . .

The GREEN BOOK with its list of hotels, boarding houses, restaurants, beauty shops, barber shops and various other services can most certainly help solve your travel problems. It was the idea of Victor H. Green, the publisher, in introducing the Green Book, to save the travelers of his race as many difficulties and embarrassments as possible.”

Click here to see the complete edition of The Negro Motorist Green Book in pdf format.

Interview by Linda M. Faulkner of Author Exchange

2010-08-23T13:27:00.000-07:00

Interview with KAT SMITH

You are a woman of many talents: writer,

model, radio show host, and entrepreneur

…to name a few. Tell us how writing got

included in the mix.

Believe it or not, although I have been public for most

of my life, I was very shy growing up. Because I had

difficulty expressing myself verbally, I found comfort

in writing my feelings in journals. My first book was

a collection of poetry from those journals titled

Love the Vicious Cycle.

Click image to read entire interview.

Eat, Pray, and live to Love, again

2010-08-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

With Oprah's blessing upon the book, Elizabeth Gilbert's journey to self was a sensory delight. Not that you need my endorsement for either the book or film. but I enjoyed and was again inspired by her adventure.

The movie is a great representation of the book and offered delicious visuals into the perspectives of the other characters. Their depth were seen and felt with more... life. And Javier Bardem is quite the dessert.

I contemplate this story as I lay awake reliving a conversation with a friend who is suffering a broken heart. No matter the length of time invested, what can one possibly say to ease the pain? Nothing, really. In truth, her appetite has been interrupted by an emotional devastation that turns euphoria to purgatory.

Unfortunately, most of us have been there. Our senses are powerful and when engaged with such force, can send us into a vortex of misery. After such an emotional experience, we may doubt who we are and fail to learn lessons from those who cross our paths.

With the senses engaged at the point of heartbreak, we question how can love be capable of such polar affects. We lose the desire to eat, rejection is painfully processed through tears (and sometimes physical discomfort), the memories become distractions, and we pray to simply make it through the day.

Time is the cure. We go on to surround ourselves with those who love us, enjoy our hobbies and interests and spend time alone gathering our thoughts and dreams that seems to have been shattered and make an attempt to create new ones.

The pain is real and we will experience other emotions as we heal. And so I leave with you (and my friend) these words from my poetry collection, Love the Vicious Cycle:

TIME

From the time we met

Throughout the time of you and I

There was little time to create a love for you

Still

Another time to pass

Is the time it takes

For me to

Get over you

6/5/88

Seeing Sideways

2010-08-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ever travel with a friend who claims they know the place you’re traveling to only to find out they didn’t have a clue? Well, six years ago, I had the pleasure of visiting the beautiful city of San Francisco with a former roommate who proudly informed me that she was from the Bay Area. I was quite surprised to find out that not only did she not know the hot places to go, but she didn’t have a clue on what this fabulous city is all about.

(image: View from the Cliff House Restaurant)

But alas, this time around, I was blessed to visit with my friend Tom who is very familiar with the area. He has friends that were wonderful hosts. So to spare you the loss of a miserable trip, here are a few places we ventured and my take on one of the most beautiful places

America

has to offer.

Arrival:

Landed at 1:00 p.m., grabbed a taxi to the Galleria Park Hotel; a retro boutique hotel on Sutter Street (at Kearny Street). The staff was very helpful and courteous and the beds were very comfortable. Although still in renovation, the plan is to be completely done by March 2007. I really liked the decor of my room and even inquired about purchasing the really nice terry cloth shower curtains.

After checking in, we jumped on the cable car on Powell Street and rode down to the fisherman’s wharf. We experienced some breathtaking views at short stops on the car and were warned that while hanging on the rails and passing another car, be careful not to hang out too far. Although they slow to a crawl, there is not much room between the tracks for the cars. The ride was like a slow roller coaster as it climbed the steep streets of the city.

When we reached Mason Street, we paid $5.00 each and casually walked past street venders who sold seafood from carts. We optioned to eat at Scoma’s; an Italian traditional seafood restaurant where we dined heartily on Dungeness crab in is first day of season and sourdough bread that originated with the gold miners of the area.

To top that off, we visited the Buena Vista for Irish coffee, where I unknowingly ordered Bailey’s coffee, which is not the same. That’s the first thing I learned. Irish coffee is a combination of coffee, two sugar cubes, a generous pour of Irish whisky topped with fresh whipped cream. Just a note, American whiskey has an “e”. Just so you know the difference and don’t insult a true Irishman.

Sharing that intersection is the end of the line for the cable car, where we were thoroughly entertained by an electric guitar player and Escape Man, who within two minutes freed himself from chains and a straight jacket, while telling jokes. They had a captivated audience, since the guitar player played the theme song for those who waited for the cable cars to leave; Walk not Run, was on point with the wait, because there was no need to hurry.

(image: View of the Golden Gate Bridge from the Presidio)

We rode over to Union Square and visited Tiffany’s and William Sonoma; one for my love of diamonds and the other due to my love of cooking. Nordstrom’s Mall was next on the list, where we found Lucky jeans and I found extra long, low cut jeans; another of my loves. I can wear jeans everyday.

Upon returning to our room, we were invited to a free happy hour where they served wine. A perfect send off to our evening’s entertainment. We schlepped up hill through Chinatown to the North Beach area. We met Peter, our long time friend who lives in the city at Club Fugazi (678 Green Street) where he treated us to Steve Silver’s Beach Blanket Babylon production. What a topically timely and hilarious musical. The costumes were nothing less than spectacular for size and impressions. The actors/singers, were absolutely talented and the musicians had to have played cuts from fifty songs and a dozen complete numbers.

We laughed all the way to the restaurant for a late dinner. Rose Pistola 532 Columbus Avenue (North Beach) is a boisterous and fun place with great food. Our group grew with the addition of my friend Robert, so this locale was perfect for a group of folk who laughed heartily and spent hours playing catch up on each other’s lives.

Peter, a very lovable guy, ran into an old acquaintance. A colorful native who shared her views of growing up in the sixties and clairvoyance abilities. Her sidekick, (or shall I say “yes” woman) played along for our nightcap, before dragging us along to Tasco’s for Irish coffee. The night ended at quarter to one.

Day two:

Rising fully rested, but a little hung over, we trotted up the street to Powell, again. This time we ate breakfast at Sear’s Fine Foods at 439 Powell. They’re known for their sand dollar pancakes. Sue, our waitperson is from Melbourne, Australia and was quite interesting to talk with. You see, Sue is quite the traveler. She shared with us that she has backpacked/traveled to over forty three countries. Without neglecting the other diners in her section, to our delight she entertained us with some of her adventures.

I worked from my room while Tom went on an appointment and when he returned, we took a taxi over to Peter’s for a ride up to the wine country. What a beautiful unseasonably warm day. Leaving his home, we drove through The Presidio, which is a military base that has been transformed into a beautiful national park, complete with trails and a golf course. Located right at the entrance to the Golden Gate Bridge, The Presidio is a gorgeous piece of land that is now home to several retired Generals and new home of Lucas Films.

The temperature got up to 67º, so we had the top down and drove along the countryside taking in the scenic marina of Sausalito and the view Mount Tamalpais on the road to Napa.

Picking season has passed still the landscape was head turning. Peter enlightened us along the way as we neared the valley and passed several wineries. Lunch reservations were set for 1:00. We ate on the patio at Cindie’s. After still more Dungeness crab, a delicious glazed beef tenderloin and Rombaugher Chardonnay, we finished off with a dessert the waitperson referred to as “s’mores on steroids”. Man, what a delicious high.

To ward off the desire for a nap, we walked the shops in St. Helena. Bellezza’s, a lingerie shop located at 1228 Main, we met two ladies who were simply refreshing. Besides having something for everyone, the shop mirrored their energy which was contagious. We strolled over to the Martini House at 1245 Spring Street; a split level house renovated into a restaurant with bars on both levels and nice ambiance.

We purchased a couple bottles of wine from a local wine shop before jumping back in the car for Sonoma. Peter took the scenic route on a winding road which took us over the mountains and into Sonoma’s square. We stretched our legs and toured the shops and hotels as well as checked out the real estate details to quench our curiosity.

Another quick stop inbound, led us to Sushi Ran in Sausalito for a quick snack. I ventured to try their Saki Mohito while the guys told stories over Sapporo Japanese beer. Peter noted that women seem to frequent Sushi Ran due to the comfort level of eating at the bar paired with great service and a delicious menu.

Day Three:

For our last day, we joined Peter and Alan, his friend and neighbor, for coffee at Peet’s Coffee at the Ferry House. Although Peter doesn’t own this joint, he was aware that once a guy went in and showed his driver’s license to reveal his name was Pete Coffee.

Since the shops were closed on Sundays, Peter decided to show us another great place. With Tom and Alan following in another car, Peter took me through the area were the Geddes lives and Robin Williams resides. We passed the golf course were he assists with the junior league tournaments and moved on to breakfast and Bloody Marys at the Cliff House (www.thecliffhouse.com). After more crab and rounds of Eggs Benedict we watched the surfer’s ride the cold waves.

We snapped a few shots of the beautiful Ocean Beach view and hiked back up the hill to the car before Peter took the scenic route through the Marina which was devastated during the earthquake and now is a thriving area for the younger singles of the city.

Then unfortunately, our trip had come to its final hour. Peter deposited us in front our hotel and we sulked up to our room, dreading our departure. But I think the city enjoyed us and did want us to leave, for we were delayed leaving by an hour due to weather. So we met Robert at Kuleto’s bar (221 Powell – Union Square) for a final drink and left for the airport. Even the view from the plane left me in awe.

A Story of One Woman's Plight to Finding Love and Light Within

2010-07-31T08:23:00.000-07:00

Linked In Post - NEW YORK JOURNAL OF BOOKS by Ted Sturtz

2010-07-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK JOURNAL OF BOOKS is adding reviewers after a period of consolidation. We aim to become the premier source—bar none—for professional, highly respected book reviews.

We are steadily adding qualified reviewers.

Currently 125 reviewers.
Our reviewers have written:
475+ traditionally published books
500+ published short stories and poems
24+ plays
12+ screenplays/teleplays
20,000 articles (our reviewers with long careers add substantially to these numbers)
3,700 reviews of books (about 500 for New York Journal of Books)
Our reviewers are also winners of more than 75 literary and professional awards.

Our presentations at the end of May at Book Expo America and more recently at ALA in Washington generated much excitement among publishers. We are increasingly quoted in publicity, including book covers. For example, we were one of three reviews quoted by Simon & Schuster in their advance publicity for the bestselling The Walk. We are migrating to publishing reviews at 12:01 A.M. on date of release so that we are the first review of any new book we critique.

The Journal aims to review both mainstream releases as well as many books in niche or non-mainstream genres and books by first-time authors than are infrequently covered by the current major review publications.

The current website is running as a beta. We are well into 700 hours of programming to build our permanent, unique, state-of-the-art website with extraordinary functionality to be filled with compelling content and an unparalleled on-line experience for readers selecting books. We expect to migrate to this site in September. Our technology architecture includes features new to the publishing industry. Upon completion of the website we will launch it with considerable fanfare.

Reviewers all set their own pace for submitting reviews and are never asked to review books they prefer not to read.

We do not anticipate any material profit until we are able to commercialize following planned September migration to permanent site. We believe that most writers are underpaid for their work. It is our sincere hope and plan that the success of the New York Journal of Books will become a material source of supplementary income for all reviewers.

Please email nyjb@nyjournalofbooks.com if interested. Please do not reply via LinkedIn.

Please also include all of the following:
• Specific information that establishes your credentials as a reviewer for one or more genres/topics, including your publisher and/or names of publications where we may see your writing, including, of course, any experience reviewing books.
• Genres/topics listed sequentially according to your preference (must tie to byline)
• Proposed byline (name plus brief credentials)
• A sample book review. We are pleased to review samples of your work delivered as an email attachment or via a link. Please indicate if you are a “self-published” author. (If you are invited to join our panel and your sample review has not been published elsewhere, we will likely professionally edit it and publish it.)
• Frequency of reviews (whatever is a very comfortable pace for you, we know circumstances may also change)
• Also please indicate whether you can read electronic books and which format(s), including pdf

Ted Sturtz, Editor-in-Chief
By Ted Sturtz, Editor-in-chief at NewYork Journal of Books

Writing tips

2010-05-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Click here to view a video to help you get started on writing your next best seller.

Larger than Life

2010-05-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

One of my FaceBook friends adapted a photo of me in a larger than life image. I laughed to think, really??? Do I need to seem any taller? Most would answer that question with a resounding NO!!!

But as I thought about the image, I realized that if I don't see myself as confident and standing tall in my 6'2" frame, then who will? I know there are many that look up to me and they strain their necks in the process. (lol) However, the study done by Timothy Judge at the University of Florida shows that Tall has its advantages. Many more advantages than not being able to find a lot of fashionable clothing, shoes in our size, ceilings that meet our grandeur, etc. I know that may sound shallow to you, but shopping is only one challenge for tall women. Finding a tall man that loves tall women is another. Most men feel a bit uncomfortable looking up to women. But that is their issue. Not all men will love us and there are enough women to go around; all shapes, sizes, colors and the sort.

In my eyes, there is nothing more discouraging than to see an Amazonian Goddess (woman over 5'9") and see her slump or seem insecure about her height. Stand tall goddesses. We are larger than life and have so much in our favor. You are a warrior, yet soft and feminine, lovable and damn sexy.

After the Storm

2010-05-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we fail to understand the balance in all things. We would not know light if we have never experienced dark or be able to distinguish good from bad. As the earth transitions each day we experience life and its changes, challenges, laughter and love. With each change, whether be it in the skies or our interaction with others, we can experience storms.

These storms may be mild or cause destruction, but we all know that with each experience, there is the opportunity for growth. An opportunity to step back a reassess our dreams, desires and the direction we are headed. We can ask ourselves, what is it I am to learn from this?

When all is settled, we can look up and see the rainbow of a new day and new possibilities. Focus on what you want and not dread the things you do not. Don't block the abundance and blessing that is waiting for you by negative thoughts and actions. See your pot of gold at the end of your rainbow and remember that life is what YOU make it, so think happiness and peace into your life and watch for the rainbows after each storm.

A Nurturing Spirit

2010-05-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

I received an e-mail of a commentary entitled “A Fighting Spirit” written by Joy Jones, an African American woman. Her words addressed the aggressive, self sufficient, independent woman who is active in the community and/or church but still yet, she is single. Concern was expressed for the “fighting spirit” that we may possess for our careers and the many causes we stand for. We seem to be concerned that we unknowingly allowed this spirit to cross over into home and love lives. We seem to replace nurturing with caution. There is an unseated fear of opening up to love and we maintain a safe position to avoid being hurt or showing our vulnerability. Many of us have a get them before they get me mentality. After all, we don’t need a man. We can take care of ourselves, right?

If women spent as much time on quality relating as their careers, looks and sitting in front the television or computer screen, there would be less worry about falling in love. Living and loving more consciously.

Jones, compares relating to a slow dance. “Let the man lead and go with the flow”. He has his steps and you have yours. Allow him to gracefully lead you both through the relationship without a fight. This fighting spirit may be running men away, leaving us alone to wonder why.

Where are they? written by Shelia Avent Lockhart, shared more insight as she expressed views on the possibility of overlooking good men. The writer explained that she met her husband at church and that he was always the good buddy and nice guy, but never a boy friend. His dress was inexpensive and he wore glasses. Through their lives together, he had proven himself to be a loving, caring, passionate husband and devoted father. The question arose as to why “Sistas” do not look at a man for who he is inside, instead of looking at the clothing he wears or car he drives. She described a great analogy to the story “The Ugly Duckling”. (No pun intended) She gave love and attention to a good man, who was being overlooked, and in turn, he became the nicely dressed, financially successful man we are excited to see, and the loving husband and father that we all look for in a man.

I must admit, at first I was surprised to think that there are some who view a strong determined African American woman as non-nurturing in the home or accuse her of having a problem if there is no man in her life. I am a very headstrong woman, who has many interests and achievements. However, I am single. I have no hang-ups about love and how it should feel. I am passionate, feminine, loving, caring and am aware of my role as a female and the blessings that accompany that role. I seek love, companionship and a life long loving marriage. I feel that I have a “nurturing spirit”. I not only nurture my companion, family, friends and co-workers, I nurture myself as well. I am confident and secure and I am not threatened by someone being better than I am. In my time alone, I have found out who I am and what I want.

Over the years, there have been numerous, insightful articles written about the sexes and understanding the brain functions and emotional differences. Ellis Cose, an African American author and contributing writer for Newsweek Magazine wrote ”Black Men & Black Women” (Newsweek 1995). This article concentrates on the self-image of the African American male and his relationship with the African American female. His book A Man’s World also sheds light on relating in today’s society. Much like the perspective of Cose, there has been much to say about the male image in society based on the plight of the African American male. But I say, my brothers we are with you. We love and adore you. You are the image of strength and perseverance. You are our husbands, fathers, grandfathers, brothers, lovers, and friends. We sweetly indulge in the dance of life with you. Following your lead, and although we may get out of step momentarily, we gracefully glide back into step with the rhythm through understanding and support.

Science has proven that men and women not only think differently, we process information differently as well. This has paved the way for books like Brain Sex, and articles like “Sizing up the Sexes” (Time 1992) which expands on this theory and share research that expose these differences. In Health magazine’s Super Woman article (1991) the writer touched on the impact that society has on the babies, little girls, teenagers, and grown-up women. It compares the sexes and offers statistical information, which is just one group’s equation. Do we assimilate this information into our daily lives as gospel or do we simply use our own minds and experiences to form our opinions.

Learning about one’s self on an emotional and mental level, compares to the understanding needed for our careers. For example, in a healthy relationship we must understanding from a visual, mental and loving perspective what is good and balanced.

Using a common everyday tool as an analogy; we have all sorts of virus protection for our computers. We go the extra mile to protect them from bad programs. The goal is to purge all the bad and keep the good. Secure and keep safe the data stored inside.

To human beings, this translates to thoughts and actions. What are we doing to protect the health of our mental and emotional states? If we contemplate the time we spend at work, in traffic, at social events and caring for our homes, cars and “stuff”, then we don’t have much time to do anything else. Or do we? We make time for what is important to us. What is most important to you?

I disagree with the suggestion that a woman must “look like” she needs a man for fear of scaring off any potential suitors. My success should not deem me as in-approachable. Did not your parents support you in all your dreams and desires because they wanted more for you? How many of us have had strong women in our lives that have always pushed us to be all we can be? I believe most of us have. Many of our parents went without necessities of life (not to mention luxuries that we enjoy every day) to make a way for us and we were supported in furthering our education to be more than better, we had to be the best.

I was delighted to see the character Claire Huckstable who portrayed a loving wife and mother, and a passionate woman who is successful in her career on The Cosby Show. We CAN have it all and it can be “all good.” In my working environment, I have learned to deal with many types of people and their qualities. This helps me in my personal relationships. I learn to negotiate, sacrifice and compromise I support of the vision. I can feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when I end my day. Yet, for most of us, our day is not over with the 5:00 whistle. We go on to make a home for our families and sometimes our parents. We lend emotional support to our siblings and friends. We cook, clean and are all we need to be for those in our lives, and ourselves. We are there for our men when society challenges his manhood.

We have had to be emotionally, physically, and mentally stronger, more intelligent, more financially secure and self sufficient because of the direction society was steering the image of the African American female. We are pressured to believe that by a certain time in life we are to be: at a particular level in your career, married and have 2.5 children, beautiful, fit (if not thin), sexy and defy the aging process for the benefit of attracting the opposite sex. We have had to endure single parenthood, harassment, and violent abuse for years. Now that we have grown strong from these labors, is it still not enough? If not, you are telling your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, wives and daughters that they have yet more of society’s burdens to carry.

I feel that life should be lived to its fullest. This does not mean that a woman should not want, or need a companion. It is only saying that times have indicated that we no longer have to wait to be married enjoy things in life. Most of us wait later to marry and have accumulated material possessions. Just because someone owns a home or chose to seek other interest as well as companionship does not signify that they are not in need of a significant other. Priorities should be set and time-shared should be quality time. Having someone special should be the icing on the cake for us all. Using love as a game is foolish. The only rules to the survival of a relationship are honesty, openness and communication. We should strive to be all we can be for ourselves so that we can offer our companion someone with little or no emotional baggage. You can not make someone else happy if you are not happy yourself.

2010 Census - America - We all count!

2010-03-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

It is time for the US Census. In this economic downturn, we can all use some help with rebuilding our lives and our communities. Now is the time to stand up and help your community receive it's fair share of federal funding. These fund go towards, schools, hospitals, infrastructure (roads/bridges), senior citizen's programs like Meals on Wheels, school lunch programs and more.

The 2010 Census questionnaire is an historic census in that the form is only 10 questions, that will take about 10 minutes and is used to allocate over $400 Billion dollars per year for the next 10 years. It also determines congressional seating.

It's in our hands. We can't move forward until you mail it back. Don't wait until April 1st. When you get your questionnaire, mail it in. For assistance filling out the form or language assistance call 866-872-6868.

Tell your neighbors, friends and family! check your areas mail back rates online.
CLICK HERE for a map and see how your area compares.

Follow us on FaceBook

Or Visit our Website for more information

The Naked Author - How not to get seduced into a publishing scam

2010-02-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

Are you ready to get your book in the hands of thousands of readers? Well, what is your first step? Get an agent? Do you submit directly to a publisher? What isthe difference between traditional and independent publishing? What is a vanity press? How do you solicit to either? What are some tips to working with a digital printer? what is the difference between an editor at a publishing house and someone who edits for grammar and structure? Do you know how to present your book topic for the most effective interview?

These are just a few questions that if go unanswered, can postpone your goal of becoming a successful published book author. Don't get seduced by the idea of publication and go into it blind. If you are not clear on who does what and where to begin from where you are presently you can stumble around naked without a clue to your vunlnerability.

The Naked Author - Exposing the Myths of Publishing is a handy desk reference for anyone who is seeking to take on the task of becoming a published author. Be it independent/self published of if your manuscript is accepted by a traditional publisher, you to educate yourself on who does what and where will you get the most help or direction from during your journey.

From career planing to book promoting, The Naked Author takes you through the steps of book publishing and promoting so you understand the industry, its responsibility to you; the author and your responsibility to your own success.

Ignorance is not bliss, but book sales can sure add a little sweetner to a writer's life.

Year of the Tiger?

2010-02-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

With the celebration of The Chinese New Year, I received an article on a blog about Job searching in the Year of the Tiger. Well the link did not work and so I have no clue on any tips on that, but I could not let the topic pass by...

I thought last year was Tiger's year. Wood's that is. What did he end up recruiting, like 100 women? Wow! He scored a hole in one of many.

Anyway, considering Tiger Woods' recruiting tactics. I wonder what was his strategy for landing so many, uuuuhhhh qualified candidates. The qualifications did not seem too stiff (LOL - Damn I crack myself up!)

Now Tiger's someone who could teach a head hunter a thing or two about hunting head. Never mind!!!!!

OK, that was my joke of the week.

My personality to a "T"

2010-02-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

I received an e-mail that outlined the characteristics of the astrological signs. Now I have been told that you your ascending/rising sign (moon sign)is calculated according to the time of day or night that you are born. So for anyone who knows me, here is Kat in a nutshell. I may not agree with all of it, but most for sure.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient (LOL). Sometimes selfish (oh alright). Short fuse 9Damn sure of it). Easily angered. (Alright already!!!) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical(lol). Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

Rising Sign:
LEO - The Boss

Very organized (anal). Need order in their lives - like being in control (that's the Amazonian Goddess in me - Yes, I am a warrior!). Like boundaries (yes, stay out of my personal space and outta my face). Tend to take over everything Bossy (FOTFL - Yeah, that fits). Like to help Others (I love to fight for what if fair and for the under dog). Social and outgoing. Extroverted (Hmmm?). Generous, warm-hearted (awwww). Sensitive. Creative energy. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. Full of themselves. Yes I am but I come across in a very genuine way. LOL.

The end of the messages promised years of bad luck if I do not forward. Hell, in this economy, I welcome a promise of any kind. Besides, I don't believe bad luck can stick to me. I'm already full of myself and tend to take over, remember.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day.

Free ranking site for Amazon sales

2010-01-31T03:44:00.000-08:00

Selling books or products on Amazon? Well, here's a novel idea. (ha) A great tool for independent publishers.

NovelRank is a completely free website for authors to track their Amazon Sales Rank on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk (United Kingdom), Amazon.ca (Canada), Amazon.fr (France), Amazon.de (Germany), and Amazon.co.jp (Japan). NovelRank is the best free resource for self-promoting authors to track their book's sales and Sales Rank on Amazon with charting, RSS feeds, and real-time data.

Corporate Book Sponsors

2010-01-16T16:50:00.000-08:00

How to get corporate sponsors for your books

Kathleen Gage is hosting a call today that authors who are looking for corporate sponsors will benefit from. We are getting some great questions for today's call with Mitch. If you are an author this call will be a great wealth of information on how to get corporate sponsors. http://www.streetsmartsmarketing.com/magiccorporatesponsorships.htm
The Magic of Corporate Sponsorships and How to
Leverage Yourself to Sell More Books

Height Truly Does Matter

2009-12-28T04:50:00.000-08:00

Check out the study on Height. Very interesting that WE have an advantage... Go figure.

I based a portion of my book to Timothy Judge, who headed the study.